if you have been diagnosed with dementia, can you still decide what you want to do with your home, ie sell it, move in with a relative?  How can someone say if it is a rational decision or not? could they legally stop this happening?

if my relative decides to sell home, with myself selling my home, and we put put our money together to buy a property so that my family and them could live together, would I find problems with other judging that I am exploiting them? Would I have to sell the joint property if they died / went into full time caring home? would my siblings have a claim to the   property when the elderly person died??

It must be bleak out there with no replies. I know the feeling.

My advise would be DONT DO IT. I did this 2 years ago, the worst decision of my life. What was a lovely close relationship with a spinster aunt is now one of use and abuse - of me and 14 year old getting panic attacks due to stress!!! and yes lots of insults regarding expoitation from distant relatives who visit 2x a year and believe the ramblings of an alcoholic bitter old lady who is lonely and angry at her loss of youth/siblings and life. She has moments when she is absolutely evil to us-sniping, moaning, blaringly loud Radios and TV (not deaf at all!) rude to guests, messy eating, mess in room (hoarding mouldy fruit-they do do the strangest things - didnt have a clue of the extent of the idiosyncracies (sorry spelling)

with regard to the legality of the decision knowing someone has dementia (my aunt didnt/doesnt totally, mostly alcohol abuse probs) the one with dementia sadly died. Normally if someone is deemed by GP as having dementia back up diagnosis required by another doc - then someone has to have power of attorney or go to court of protection to get it. Depending on the closeness of your family relationship you may not get it. Other relatives have to be notified and can object - the court makes the decision. Court of Protection website - will send full guide. With regard to the sale of the joint property if they died or went into care- well care first - the council will take a charge or force sale of property (depending on what dependants you have living with you) to pay for care-THEY WILL NOT FINANCE CARE IF YOUR RELATIVE OWNS PROPERTY OR PART OF PROPERTY MORE THAN £20k they get their money eventually. If they die it depends on the terms of the last will written prior to dementia /or intestate?? if you have not been left their share of the property in the will you will have to sell to give the money to the beneficiary.

We had a deed of trust drawn up by 2 independant solc's one for each of us but a solcitor will not do this if they believe the relative has dementia (must be of sound mind). My cousin had to get consultants letters from hospital to solicitor to get her fathers will made leaving his estate equally to his children (wife dead) to prove in his early stage dementia he could still be able to make that decision.

Cant see how your siblings could have a claim assuming they are not your relatives children. Inheritance law goes down direct bloodlines or a will - so those who inherit are spouse-children-siblings-parents-cousins etc If they are your relatives children they all have an equal claim on the % share of the estate in your parents name even if they havent lifted a finger to help care.

Like a say a nightmare - think very very hard - get professional advise. Good Luck

I suggest having a frank conversation with this relative and then bring in the other members of your family you feel would be concerned so that any decisions are made up-front.

Personally, having lost a grandmother to Alzheimers I would caution against becoming a full-time carer in your own home. By full-time I mean this becomes 24 hours per day, seven days per week. Scenarios vary from the mildly amusing (you have to be able to maintain a sense of humour) to the emotionally draining and downright dangerous. Mildly amusing is when they are a bit snippy about your appearance, emotionally draining is when you have to keep on gently breaking the news that someone they loved is dead and has been for thirty years, dangerous is when they leave something burning in the oven or hob and go out.

Clearly you love this relative or you would not be contemplating this, but for your own sake and that of your relative, my advice would be to work really hard together to find the best possible residential home and visit as often as you can. If you do decide to go ahead with your plan, I would get some good legal advice from your Solicitors and make sure your family is aware of the situation and the committment you are making because I suspect you would indeed run the risk of losing your joint home.