My dad died at christmas from a heart attacK at the age of 69 years. He was well before this and tried to enjoy life to the full. He was a real family man with 5 chidren and 11 grandchildren. My mum was upset, as we all our by the shock and grief but has decided to allienate all her family except one son. For the first few weeks we were trying to work together, the three daughters staying constantly in turns with her day and night, feeding her ,dressing her and trying to sort out the finance. My dad did absolutely everything. Almost overnight she has decided that this one son is the only person she cares about and has banned everyone else including grandchildren from the house. The house is up for sale and she will not let anyone know where she is going or part with any personal belongings of my fathers as a momenum for the children. She is being so spiteful and my brother is happy to play this game because of what he intends to gain financially. He has no money and does not work and really has no interest in her wealthfare. The whole family is distraught at losing both parents at the same time but cannot get any help as its her choice to behave this way. Its as if she is punishing us for the way she feels. Has anyone got any advice as we are desperate and heartbroken.

My goodness! This almost parallels my situation.

 My father past away five years ago. Several months later my mother decided to have her personal affairs taken care for. I found an attorney which drew up a will, living will and had her home transfered to my name and my brother's. She still remains in the house and she will stay until she needs nursing home care. My brother came home from Iraq during the Christmas holidays and started a lot of trouble at home. Mainly, he wanted me out and to have the home to himself. The problem is he can't legally own 100% of the home unless one of us buys the other out. My mother has sided with my brother and believes a lot of the garbage he is saying. I think you may want to speak to an attorney about your rights and what you think your brother is trying to do.

I understand your pain. My mother has totally gone against me and thinks that I am an enemy. It's very hurtful. I have contacted my pastor and spoke to a few therapists to get her help. She was diagnosed with depression several years ago when she had her knees replaced and she seems to be getting worse over time. Her instability has been getting workse especially with my brother back home. Your mother is doing what my mother is doing...finding a replacement husband. You may ask your pastor or priest to talk with her. Let her know that her daughters love her and want  only help. Sounds like she may need antidepression meds...but I'm not a doctor. I am trying my best to have my mother evaluated. I know once she gets on meds in two weeks she'll see things a little rosier. But, the tough part is getting to see a doctor about the depression. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's behavior. I'm pretty shocked with mine. I really don't think either one of them can possibly feel proud of themselves.