18 months ago, one of my elderley spinster aunts age 82 suggested that we may live together -  to cut a very long story short- we sold our respective houses and bought a larger bungalow with extra bedrooms and groundfloor bathroom, together - the split is 58% v 42% in my husband and my favour. I also have a 13 year old son. At this point people usually gasp in amazement and ask why! - if only I had the forsight at the time. We thought we were helping-the aunts were struggling to cope and we frequently had to sort out problems and zigzag between the houses all the time. (they were drinkers, but we didnt know at the time how bad) the rest of the large family didnt bother with them. Now the oldest has been taken into a home after a spell in hospital (following food poisoning-while we were away-we tried to set up care but both were adament they wanted none of it) revealed her to not have mental capacity, be incontinent, deaf and mildly senile (she didnt own any part of the houses thankfully) Now the younger one (owns the 42%) is becoming increasingly bad tempered, still drinking, getting confused etc I have asked the social services to visit - their conclusion  - very little they could do to help if she wont accept it - "she is a class act". I used to have a good relarionship with her but it has deteriorated to such an extent I wish I had never agreed to this. Now my son has had a panic attack (couldnt breath, emergency services called etc very scary) which seems to be stress induced - he claims its mostly her. She is a nightmare she thinks everyone is out to fiddle her (she is worth over 200K), trusts no one and interferes in everything and can be very aggresive verbally and did hit my husband once (he swore back at her so she slapped him). She has OCD and keeps us awake half the night fiddling with lights and plugs - we both work. Out of her 9 siblings 6 have dementia (1 died young -my dad) and her mother had dementia, so it seems to be what to expect. I want out of the situation for my family's sake but I feel guilty for abandoning her - she could not cope alone although she thinks she can (she does nothing in the house, I cook all meals do all shoping etc, she pretends not to understand money if she owes me any - (usually from me paying for things on a card as she only has a savings account and doesnt trust cards) but she is very calculating and embarassingly greedy if she thinks soemthing is free or she can get away without paying for it. She frequenlty pleads poverty. She will probably need care soon (has a heart condition and takes warfarin etc and yes drinks with it) we are worried about the social care charges forcing us to sell the house to realise her equity share in it - we are told they will put a charge on it. We took her on holiday a few weeks ago and she ruined it for everyone she was so lazy and selfish. Her brother 75, has applied to COP for the older sister as I refused to do it. But he goes through me to get info from her (she holds all of their financial info and is still collecting her sisters pension even though we have told her not to) she shouts at me not to give him any info "dont you tell them about her jewellery" Its not as if the older sister had much (she is fully funded by social) and as I pointed out she is not dead yet! but she believes as she is her beneficary she is entitled to it.She refuses to understand and just has another sherry - ps I refuse to buy her alchol - she drives her sports car to the local shop herself to get it - but its the only time she goes out. Its mothers day and my birthday today and all she has done is nag about who's cooking dinner (10 times by 11am) my husband cooked it -but not before she accused him of using green potatoes from the bin!!! which she threw away (he of course was not using potatoes out of the bin), she ate it, drank lots of booze and slopped of to bed at 5pm when my step daughter arrived (who she doesnt like) hugging a bottle of sherry and a glass. I am in tears and at my wits end. Even the GP said she is taking the ...... you must set some boundaries. But how can you with soemone who just forgets the next day or ignores you. and of course the older sister would not be in a home if they had never moved here and she is not senile or incontinent (so my fault it seems). Please any advice gratefully received. Mentally and finacially we appear to be facing rack and ruin