My mother is over 100 and is in good shape for her years. She lives on her own up 3 flights of stairs and can only rarely get out with assistance. I visited her about six months ago and arranged with the local social services for daily visits.
She had been receiving visits from a distant relative who seemed to appear from nowhere a couple of years ago, who took her shopping and did light chores around the place and, in general, was of great help and assistance. His motives for so doing were always a concern to us. His grandmother had been suddenly receiving visits from him starting at around the same time, although these were limited to two or three a year probably because he lived 200 miles from her. This grandmother claims never to have set eyes on him until that time. Recently he took my Mother to her bank and had her withdraw 500 pounds in order to buy her a new LCD tv. Bottom line is that over five weeks have passed since and no tv. He called on her 2 weeks ago and asked for more money for a tv stand which she gave him. Again no stand. Since the time of the withdrawal my emails and phone calls to him have gone unanswered, although he did pick up the phone one time and hung up immediately. I tried calling today at a different time and the phone was answered and I politely asked him what the problem was in delivering this tv. He replied that he had been out of town most of the time - not true! He told me that it was my mother's money, and she was not complaining to which I replied that being the case if she paid for a tv 5 weeks ago she should be entitled to one. He told me that he resented my inference and then hung up. This person is the executor to her will and after this I obviously want him removed as I don't trust him. Even if he was not trying to rip her off, he clearly does not have her best interests in mind and apart from that has lied to me. Am I being unreasonable in my suspicions?
The main issue here is my mother's mental condition as her memory is virtually non existent. At this point she has no recollection of withdrawing the 500 but does remember giving him 40 for a stand, but she does not know what for as she has forgotten about getting a tv and now says she does not really need a replacement for the old one, whereas a few weeks ago she was excited about the prospect of getting one. From other relatives who visit her occassionaly everyone had been of the opinion that she should not be living alone, and that it is an accident waiting to happen. We have tried to persuade her to move into a facility where assistance is avialable, but she has and is firmly against the idea. I feel bad that I have rattled the cage of this mystery caregiver as that will deprive her of even occassional outings, and I certainly would not have begrudged him the 640 pounds had my mother simply given it him as a present. I'm just thinking is that just the tip of the iceburg as it were.
Bottom line is that I need to get power of attorney. I already have a power of attorney, signed, notorized and witnessed but it was ten years ago and in USA. I doubt that it would be recognized in England so how would I get a UK valid power of attorney ? I have also written to her primary care physician asking for an evaluation on her physical and mental condition and suggestions and advice. There is enought equity in her flat to pay for supervised accomodation, but I would not want to move her against her will, but thought that her doctor might be able to talk her around. She does not remember whether she has eaten and visitors have reported the oven being left on in error and also food left out going bad.
I would appreciate any advice I can get, particularly bearing in mind that I am a long way away, and what facilities might be available for someone in this condition.
I have been liiving out of England for 40 years and although I have visited my Mother several times it has always been between Christmas & New Years when most things were closed, so I am really out of touch with what is practically available there.