Can anyone offer any advice, please?  Mum is now 85, in poor health (although still manages to live at home with help from an elderly friend and me) and her memory seems to be rapidly getting worse.  She asks me to handle her financial affairs and bills.  It is so difficult as when I make a phone call on her behalf, because of data protection etc., they have to speak to her and ask her security questions.  Obviously, I understand this is for her own safety, but when she cannot hear what they are saying and has to think hard to provide the answers, it can be quite distressing for her.  We also can't find things that have been posted to her and I worry that she is throwing important mail into the bin.  She knows that her memory is getting worse.  I don't want to upset her by mentioning that if she loses her mental ability altogether, I don't know how I will be able to help her because I will not be able to speak to anyone on her behalf without her having to answer the usual questions. 

I would be grateful for any advice.

You need an Enduring Power of Attorney, which can be registered with the Court of Protection whilst your mum is reasonably OK.  Through this she can give you authority to manage her affairs.  A solicitor will sort this out for about £100.  Get several copies as you may have to send them off as proof to agencies that you deal with on your mum's behalf.  Shouldn't be any hassle unless there are others in the family who want to be involved.

Thanks for your advice, Gerry, and for replying so quickly.  I will talk to Mum about it.  There is no-one else involved so, no, it won't be a problem.

Best regards

 

Yes, I've arranged this for my Mum. I've had the hassle of companies, like the Post Office asking, even now, to speak to her first. Mum live 150 miles away! It does, however work really well once set up. You'll be able to ask the Solicitor for a number of extra 'certified copies' of the POA which you can then send to the utilities and bill people. They should then send all mail to you, there may be a few hiccups but it works eventually. You can then do it all online with direct debits -wonderful. It's worth reading the meters every now and then though. The way I put it to my Mum was "How would you like never to have to worry about bills ever again" She jumped at the chance!

Yes and it can be useful in so many ways - like when you go to ring your Mum's doctor and discover that the step-psycho 'carer' has changed her doctor, yet again, without telling you, even though you are her attorney - and DAUGHTER. It then means that you can find who the new doctor is and all sorts of things to arm you in your battle against an abuser and the system which routinely fails your parent at every turn!

I am trying to do an Enduring Power of Attorney but I cant get anyone to sign the papers.  Her consultant said he is happy but the GP needs to do it and the GP wont do it because I have asked him to do it???  Any advice on what to do next? Jane

Get a solicitor to do it - your mum's if she has one. She will have to be there to sign it so solicitor can assess whether she has capacity at that moment and knows what she is signing. Then when she becomes completely incapable of managing her affairs, you get the solicitor to register it. Costs a bit more than doing it yourself, but you want to know all bases are covered.

As for consultants etc - get a referral to a psychiatric geriatrition if you haven't already...