Hi, my granda died about 2 years ago and my gran is living on her own but is far from independent.  She calls my mum five or six times a day and night about non-important stuff (my mum always calls her at least once a day and visits once a week).  It is driving my mother crazy but my gran refuses to even think about sheltered accommodation, and has got to the stage where Gran just doesn't listen to anyone and goes and does her own thing, no matter who she is talking to for example if she thinks her central heating is different, she'll call my mum, me, her neighbours, the heating guy etc, but even when everyone including the heating guy looks at it and tells her it's fine, she'll continue to stress about it and call everyone etc.

Gran currently has a visit from two carers a day just to make sure that everything is ok.

Anyone got any advice on what we can do?  Ideally I think it'd be best to put her in sheltered accommodation (not a home as it's too restrictive)

 

Thanks

My mother-in-law lives in an apartment for over 55s. It is very safe and she has the option of going to the community lounge if she is loney or just wants to share time with others. They are all much the same age which makes a big difference and can talk on much the same subjects.
All repairs are covered by a monthly maintence fee.
Hope this helps.

I am a scheme manager at a sheltered housing for the elderly (Anchor Trust) and find that many people have a misconception about sheltered housing. They think it is a 'home' and from experience find that if we can just get folks in the scheme to see what is on offer, to meet other tenants and hear about the benefits they change their mind. If you make some enquiries about the sheltered accommodation in your area I am sure any manager would be happy to show you round and be sure it is an appropriate option. Then you can explain what it is about to your grandma. Most schemes have a coffee morning or similar where you would be made welcome and let her see for herself. Chances are if it is local she will already know someone who lives there and have much in common with others. Social Services can usually provide a list of housing associations. Anchor operates all over England and I can recommend them, not just because I work here but my Grandma enjoyed 10 years in an Anchor sheltered housing scheme, she lived to 98 and the family are convinced she lived so long and happily because of where she was, with no worries, company and support.

I agree with scheme manager. I live in Northern Ireland. My mother-in-law has never been happier and we can live in peace each night knowing they are safe and secure.

Hi,

Whilst SH certainly wouldn't be a bad idea, it is unlikely to solve the problem of your Grandmother continually phoning your Mum I'm afraid.

You often find that this kind of constant need for reassurance from a son / daughter can get worse if left to develop.

I honestly think your Mum needs to try and be a little more assertive when it comes to dealing with your Grandmother.  It sounds as though she can manage relatively well (with minimal support) so perhaps your Mum should be mildly crafty by not always answering every call, or even by telling a little white lie every now and then - perhaps saying she's out for the day etc.